Criticism of others or Draw in your stings!
This exercise will make a huge difference in your communication! So it is worth some effort at the beginning. Just try it and find out which benefits you will gain from it!
We all criticise others. Sometimes justified – sometimes not. Sometimes in a productive way – and sometimes not… Sometimes consciously and sometimes we do it even unconsciously.
In this exercise you can learn to change destructive unjustified criticism in productive helpful feedback. I think that could make some changes, don’t you think so?
The first step to change behaviour consciously is to notice when it happens. So try to spend a week without criticising others! That will focus your attention to this conduct and you will consciously notice when you perform it!
Just do not criticise others. Become aware of your messages you send to others. Do not criticise them verbally or with gestures or your facial expression. Try to avoid criticisms even in your thoughts! Just notice what you normally would have done.
After a week concentrating on not criticising you will notice when you do – consciously and unconsciously.
As soon as you notice situations when you usually would have criticised others and didn’t do it, you are ready for step two.
Now you can allow yourself to criticise again - BUT only in a productive helpful way. Instead of saying what you didn’t like tell your conversational partner what you want him to do.
Do that in a friendly way – of course. Show your partner ways to get what he wants in a satisfying way for both of you. Tell him why you wish him to change his behaviour and which benefits he gains from changes. Make sure that both of you are satisfied at the end of your conversation.
You will find out that changing destructive and unjustified criticism in productive and helpful feedback will avoid a lot of grief - and will give you a lot of energy and time!